The Destruction of Relationships

John Lett (Readings) (About)

For two weeks, I have been hanging on to this piece of writing because I cannot quite figure out how to express everything accurately, concisely, and in a way that is not offensive. However, it needs to be said that a lot of political correctness has pushed people into ignoring what is obvious to people with very unpopular views.

Our romantic relationship dynamics are changing.

The last several tarot readings I have been performing for the last several months often center around the theme of how people feel that they have failed in the relationship front, and the pattern is typically that people are being offered spectacular arrangements or general affection, and within days or weeks the offer is retracted and one never hears from the partner again. The other theme is that women seem to be having a worse time than men, and it is harder for them to find men of a professional mindset.

I’m cutting out thousands of words and accounts of what is happening to shorten the message (it will appear in my book Sorcery eventually) – this is a controlled situation meant to destroy the typical family unit for various reasons that are not moral or religious. The final outcome may be better than the systems we have in place now, but for the time being, a lot of disappointment takes place.

The knowledge economy. While professions that women occupy often pay less, they are the more stable professions now. I have said since high school that while men stereotypically create IT products better, women are more mentally inclined to use them. Women are better at conceptualizing several components and facets occurring simultaneously, whereas men can typically see how such systems work, but only focus on one thing at a time. As the service sector has expanded, and more refined soft skills are required to get things done, women are now more employable and more easily accepted in varying organizations, so long as they do not demand to advance at the “wrong” time.

The result? Women have just enough money to cover expenses typically, and men are struggling to find a niche, particularly as stable employment moves out. If they can find a job in the knowledge economy, the pay does not go as far as it would in years past. Men are expected to be more adaptable, but at the same time, women expect men to act as they did 20-30+ years ago, and this does not fit what most men are financially are able to do, or a personality role that they can occupy.

Debt and credit. It is much easier to finance goals or aspirations now, and then when it is time to settle into work, a bill is left behind. It has been obvious for a long time now that debt is a problem, but what is overlooked is the strain that it puts on relationships. For many decades in the twentieth century, it was understood that newlyweds would have no money, but they typically did not start out with the financial obstacles. This has changed how couples view each other, and “taking someone on” is a much bigger deal now than it was in the past.

What can you do for me? Let us not forget that a romantic relationship requires chemical attraction, but money really rules all relationships and it is basically the biggest business deal you could ever enter. I have observed that now that gender roles have been transforming, women have often been carrying the finances more (and for the above reasons). It used to be that women would marry for money and that she could be more easily integrated into a new social class. This seems to no longer be the case. As we live in a fear-based economy right now, everyone, male and female, are looking to marry up economically, and few people are willing to take on a perceived risky venture. I also believe this is why homosexual relationships face such vast challenges in all times, because the finances seem murky.

People are looking to settle down with someone they perceive that holds the promise of more money. They may be willing to take on a relationship if the present state is bad if they think the prospective person may be able to pull off big deals in the future.

Pornography, overstimulation, travel. People used to stay in the place they grew up in and select from a small pool. Now, people are exposed to many more ideas, contacts, and imagery in their daily lives that is semi-pornographic. What we see now is a world very close to Brave New World, as I have noted in the past, and a friend recently mentioned to me again – a world saturated with pleasurable experiences in order to restrict freedom of thought, because such freedom is unpleasant. Most people are worried to commit to anything because the possibility of an upgrade looms near at all times, and there are always more choices outside of one’s immediate area.

Why is the destruction happening?

It sounds so far-fetched but the population of the world will be far smaller in perhaps 2050 than it is now. We are constantly warned of overpopulation and scarcity, but this is really a change of direction for authorities and the engineers of society. While technologies we work with have been beneficial and efficient, they have made people expendable in the eyes of those who orchestrate the events of the world. I do believe there are many benevolent figures in that decision-making capacity, and they would rather convince the public to reduce the population through social engineering rather than wars or starvation. The wicked side of it is that they will make it very difficult for people to be able to afford to have children, work them harder, prolong the period of education people must have in order to work through most of the childbearing years, lessen the popularity of monogamy and increase the popular period of experimentation, and generally project an image that the world is a horrible place with few opportunities.

The desire people have to nurture life and defend liberty are subverted through games such as FarmVille, pets, and fighting for justice on issues of little consequence, and often ones that will accelerate their program. Some of this is actually constructive if not done to excess.

The resulting society will have some beneficial aspects to it, and I am not necessarily deriding what is to come. There will be far fewer children, but perhaps they will benefit from more adult attention. There will continue to be more single people occupying smaller spaces, likely in communes, as is often predicted by university students.


If you have trouble finding a mate, try to work out small scale associations and alliances with close friends to work out cheaper housing or systems of credit and support in order to gain some of the advantages of marriage. Furthermore, after being single for many years, people have to be twice as accepting of other people and to keep things light and positive if they do wish to get married or have a long-term relationship. If we get too cerebral, emotional, or talk too much, it defines our presence more narrowly too early on. The less we say, the more room for agreement exists. Hold firm on a few core ethical points, however (e.g. “I will not date someone who is racist”).

It is not your fault for feeling without oars in this confusing world of role-playing. Get your financial house in order as quickly as possible (even if it is in small amounts), stay out in the public and meeting, helping, enjoying people, and do not hold yourself to a standard that may be unattainable at a cultural crossroads.

John Lett (Readings) (About)

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2 Responses to The Destruction of Relationships

  1. I’ve had to face up to the fact that I’m a love addict. My attachments to spouses, family, friends, employers and countries has been linked with hope and aspirations which are low and selfish in nature. Hope, prayer, faith — all these things prevent pro-activity. There’s nothing wrong with being gentle and having a generous nature, but there are limits.

    • Your video ABANDON HOPE from mid-2010 really hits it on the head, as I recall now that you commented with the “hope, prayer, faith” mantra.

      This piece was so overwhelming to write and I am still not satisfied as it just cannot possibly capture the state of self-blame that exists out there. It is our personal responsibility to see to our happiness, but we must also be aware that there are role ambiguities now that make it hard for people to get what they want, as well as economic constraints. Capital is being directed out of public circulation, often through flash/high-frequency trading and interest, so we have to be alert, develop teams or partners, and survive it! When you start to win a little bit, the relationship(s) get stronger.

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